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OHMANOHMANohman I sneezed while I was jizzing. I think I hovered.

Last night I had another episode of “Dreams of Ecks Dee, my awexxxome future daughter who’ll take over the future world.”

This dream takes place some time in the future, Ecks Dee is now five or six years old. I still happen to be in the navy, only because I was promoted to Master Chief Petty Officer of the World after inventing a robotic machine very similar to a Gundam. One of which, of course, I piloted. Being awesome and flying around over water and blowing up ships and such. This was the first half of the dream, me blowing up things.

The second half takes place at my parent’s house. I’m on leave and visiting my folks, I also bring along my daughter. We find out later in the afternoon that something seems odd about li’l Dee, as Ma calls her. While Ecks is playing in the yard we notice that the grass around her is growing unbelievably fast… and somehow sprouting flowers. We call her to the deck and ask her what’s going on. She says she likes the grass, because it feels good to roll on. She then walks over to a dying flower in a pot at the edge of the deck, touches it, and it grows into giant vines that climb up over the house, starts chasing some squirrels, and then devours them. We tell her she can go back to playing.
From the neighbor’s yard comes a dog. It runs towards Ecks and proceeds to tackle her. Shortly after, the dog dies a sudden, silent death.

Apparently, Ecks Dee will have the ability to heal/aid the things she likes, and kill the things she doesn’t like simply with a touch. Not as cool as the laser eyes I had imagined… but useful nonetheless. She was still young at the time, so the grass eventually shrunk back to normal, but the dog remained dead, so did the neighbor-guy who tried to scold her.

The part just before I woke up, I was running a marathon in the livingroom… that’s right, going around in circles along the walls jumping from the couch to the coffee table, over the end-table and past the christmas tree(yes, in summer). I think I won.

The vines continued eating birds and small creatures, including the other neighbor’s cat.

Last night I dremt about meeting Ecks Dee’s mom. Ya know, the one that exploded in the last dream.

Oh, it was a magical moment at a lovely little cross-stitching class. (cross-stitching class?) Yes. I know. But hear me out. We were both there doing community service. (huh?) Shh. Anyway, I was trying to figure out how to cross-stitch “this sucks” and I happened to glance over at what the hot chick next to me was doin’.
She was cross-stitching a tank runnin’ over a dude. (awesome) Shush, now. She was all goth and awesome lookin’, and I knew right then that she would have my awesome child.
After the class, she got into her truck and took off, running over some children on the way. As I watched her drive off, I looked down at the sidewalk and saw a cross-stitch.
It was the tank, and at the bottom was cross-stitched “you suck call me”.

Sadly, when I woke up I didn’t remember the number. (psh, you wouldn’t have called it even if you did remember) Psh, yes I would have. I totally would have.

“The deaf leopard says, ‘Hah?’”