-DUDE HOLEY CRAP

Have you ever stared at your own nadsack for an extended period of time?

I was bored sittin’ there waitin’ for some tard to get back from a “bio break”(aka he was takin’ a crap) in CoV, and It felt like that time Mika kicked me in the crotch, so I looked down at jimmy and the hairy twins for awhile… Well SCROTAR THE HOLDERIZOR was all movin’ around squirreley like a lava lamp, and I swear my testes were WRESTLING eachother… something’s alive in there.

Is this motion how the spermses is created? Maybe the testes knead the spermdough into ejaculatory PIIEEE for later FERTILIXXXATIONIZING of teh VAGINAS.

The new screensaver on every computer at work is that 3D spinny word thing with the word VAGINA spinnin’ a lil too fast to read. I was bored all day today…

Published on February 9, 2011 5:59 am.
Filed under: Classic h00rj, Thoughts of -dAve Tags: , , , ,

-To win a war.

THE ULTIMATE WEAPON

Retards.

We all know retards possess super-human strength and a great tolerance to pain.

So let’s “enhance” them:

Steroids. Make them bulk up, increasing their super-human strength to super-bear strength x 2.

Painkillers. Vicodin, Percocet, something strong to increase their pain tolerance, possibly numbing them.

Football helmets. Protects yer head. And perfectly suits a retard.

Fire. They can’t feel pain anyway, and it makes them more awesome ON FIRE.

Now, to best utilize these flaming, ‘roided out, numb tards we need to shoot them out cannons.

Once they destroy whatever they impact(helmet for safety) they can get up and wreak havoc on the surrounding terrain, destroying tractors and eating people’s brains, or whatever it is angry burning retards do in their free time.

Published on January 27, 2011 8:11 pm.
Filed under: Classic h00rj, Thoughts of -dAve Tags:

-Quite possibly the most sexual sound EVAR.

Ok, goto McBurger’s Chickenbon and get yourself a straw. Not just any straw, the bendy kind.

Take it out of the paper (carefully, gently, sensually).

Clear your mind, while sitting (or laying) in a quiet room (preferably naked and alone).

Hold the straw close to your ear (your good one). Now, take a deep breath, exhale and slowly stretch the virgin straw ooouuuttt.

Most straws are only good for a few stretchings, any more and she gets worn out and loose like an old boot.

And always remember, “No.” means “I would like it in the butt first.”

Published on January 26, 2011 7:01 am.
Filed under: Classic h00rj, Thoughts of -dAve Tags: