Oh. It’s around.
After sleep.
Oh. It’s around.
After sleep.
This is wonderful.
Reminds me of the good ol’ days.
The warriors rush onto the battlefield. It is just how they had planned. The towering shining castle lies the middle of the open field completely unguarded. The occupants apparently oblivious to the oncoming raid. The warriors trudge forward through the muck readying their weapons unsure of what awaits them inside the castle unsure even of how they will enter the castle. Their commander a sharp-witted narrow man named dAve had simply stated during the briefing "We will overturn that stone when we get to it." They approach the castle its glorious might towering over them like the sun in the sky. "It's millions bigger 'n I'd ever imagined it." shouts one soldier stricken by the castle's pure untouchable majesty.
Surrounding the castle is of course as is around every castle EVER a moat. This moat, however appears as though it is filled with blood. Upon closer inspection the commander confirms that it is in fact blood. "The blood of millions… " rolls off his lips. He looks around as if someone else had put those words in his mouth. "We must clear this moat.", he shouts to those willing to listen. An "Aye Aye SIR." roars through the crowd and the first brave man steps forward into the moat. "Okay plan B… ", states the commander as that once brave man silently disappears into the depths of the treacherous moat only adding to its volume. "We must build a BRIDGE.", he continues looking over his ready and willing crew.
Several attempts at bridge building fail. As the other side of the moat is flush with the castle wall yielding no place for the bridge to rest. Anything that touches the blood of the moat only disappears making the moat swell deeper.
The men now listless and frustrated begin to quarrel amongst themselves. A fight breaks out ending in one man killed by his own comrade. Push comes to shove shove comes to punch punch comes to stab. It's all out WAR . The soldiers are killing one another for no apparent reason. The dust settles the final scream echoes over the land and one man is left standing. The now cavalry-less former-commander dAve stops flailing his sword drops his dead human shield and surveys the remains of the battle. "I win!", he shouts with an odd sense of pride confusing himself. How can he consider himself a winner… his entire army is dead. The castle lies unscathed just yards away. His dreams of taking this land for his country are now shattered.
The ground begins to shake with an oddly familiar rhythm. He panics and seeks shelter ducking into a small cavern a short ways away from the castle. Peeking through a tiny crevice he can see an army approaching. It's almost identical to his own. They approach the castle from the very same direction and in the exact same manner fail at crossing the moat. It's like watching himself from a distance. Just like his own crew this one breaks out into battle. Only this time no one is left standing.
Shortly after the ground shakes again and yet another army approaches. Everything EXACTLY the same. Only this time there 's one man left standing. Without thinking and not really certain of what he's doing he picks up his sword and throws it like a javelin through the heart of the sole survivor. Again "I win!" comes out of his mouth. Even though he cannot determine what it is exactly that he is winning.
For some time this continues. Ground shakes, army comes, army kills itself. He watches from the safety of his cavern keeping in mind his original goal of taking the castle…
One day the ground begins to shake but this time it's different. The rhythm of the shaking is completely different. Something is wrong. He watches through the crevice. Indeed an army is coming… but the army is strange. The soldiers are by far intellectually inferior to the ones he's been watching for what seems like eons.
They hastily storm toward the castle and without a single thought try to leap over the moat. It is true, they are strong able jumpers but they jump headlong into the side of the castle resulting in little more than a thud followed by a splash into the pool of blood.
dAve watches in amazement at their stupidity chuckling softly to himself. One of them, apparently lost, wanders close to the entrance of his cavern. Like a burrowing spider dAve snatches him in and binds him. He has been planning for this moment. From the gunpowder of the many fallen soldier's guns he has fashioned a belt. An explosive belt. He just needed some way to hurl the immensely heavy belt across the moat at the broadside of the castle hopefully ending with a bang and a hole in the side of the castle for which he would like to use as a front door.
Here sits his shiney new belt-thrower wriggling around on the floor. dAve props his new friend up against the wall and looks happily into his face. "What is your name friend?", he inquires grinning. The soldier can only respond in grunts and unintelligible utterances. "That's nice, I'm dAve… and you, Jim… I 'll call you Jim are my key to that castle. "dAve knows that this man only has one thought on his mind, "jump at castle" and is merely biding his time until the army outside suicides itself.
The roaring and clanging subsides and dAve smiles as he hears one last 'GRAAAHHHH-thud – - splash.' "Time to go Jim!", dAve says as though trying to rouse a puppy. "Put on your belt!" dAve stands him up and ties the belt around his new friend's waist. "Lessgo! Lessgo!!" dAve unbinds "Jim" and excitedly leads him outside. "GO! GO!! GOOOO!!!", he yells pointing Jim towards the castle and giving him a shove. Jim takes off like a dart towards the bullseye. "GIT 'EM BOY! GIT 'EM!", dAve continues egging him on while jogging after him. Just as expected Jim leaps full-fury into the castle wall resulting in not a weak thud but an explosion that rocks the very soul of the world.
dAve grins larger than he's ever grinned in his short life and screams, "I WIN!!!" while leaping over the moat into his newly-formed front door unsure of what's inside but ready for anything
-The End…
or rather, The Beginning
Haiyoru! Nyaruani: Remember My Mr. Lovecraft (dunno, prettysure she kicks ass)
Freezing (pantsu~)
Kore wa Zombie Desu ka? (zombie bears?!)
Gosick (gothic loli. lolwuthair?)
Onii-chan no Koto nanka Zenzen Suki Janain Dakara ne!! (Fanservice)
(New MitsudoMoe mid Jan)
Dragon Crisis! (action. Random foxgirl?)
http://fractale-anime.com (not-quite-steam-punk wutairships?)
Related: http://www.sankakucomplex.com/2010/12/22/top-10-most-anticipated-anime-of-winter-2011/
h00rj has returned, and this time in the form of a mangled Wordpress script!
For those who don't know what h00rj is, you probably will never quite understand and I don't think I can explain it.
It's been around since liek… 2005 or someshit. A lovechild of my need to create while drunk.
The original h00rjscript, created entirely while intoxicated, is still intact somewhere but it's become bloated and messy as most drunken things do.
Now, to celebrate the return of h00rj it's time for a good old fasioned THREAD OF CATGIRLS.
(and by catgirls, of course I mean any human female with animal ears)
comments (5)
-dAve: HOOP! [img]http://h00rj.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/129110194131903601.jpg[/img]
-dAve: asdf?!
-dAve:The fuzzrug collection. http://fuzzrug.com/index.php?d=cats
-dAve: ISSATARP! [img]http://h00rj.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/ev20_7.jpg[/img]
-dAve:
Delicious.
I love fried eggs.
Still figgerin’ this iPhone postin’ deal.
comments (1)
Cat: Foots! [img]http://h00rj.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/jpg.jpg[/img]
http://thesurrealist.co.uk/movie.php?word=nigger
Because.
“Nigger, for lack of a better word, is good.”
comments (2)
Eric: That'll do, nigger. That'll do. Babe (1995) (the missing word was 'pig')
-dAve: Ray, if someone asks if you are a nigger, you say, 'yes!' Ghost Busters (1984)
3 sec cast
Tyrande Whisperwind is the high priestess of Elune, and with her recent marriage, she is no longer sole ruler of the night elves. She grew up in the ancient city of Suramar, far from the first Well of Eternity, not far from the brothers Malfurion and Illidan Stormrage. Tyrande’s idyllic childhood proved to be in sharp contrast to the sorrow and conflict that she would endure later in her life.
Tyrande’s Favorite Doll
Binds to account
Unique-Equipped
Trinket
+321 Intellect
Requires Level 85
Item Level 359
Equip: Recaptures 20% of all the mana you spend on spells, and stores it within the doll to be released at a later time. Up to a maximum of 4200 mana can be stored.
Use: Releases all mana stored within the doll, causing you to gain that much mana, and all enemies within 15 yards take 1 point of Arcane damage for each point of mana released. (1 Min Cooldown)
Buff
91757
Spell Details
Duration n/a
School Physical
Mechanic n/a
Dispel type n/a
Cost None
Range 0 yards (Self)
Cast time 3 seconds
Cooldown n/a
Effect Create Item
Tyrande’s Favorite Doll
Related
comments (1)
-dAve:Can I put this in my laptop?
comments (1)
h00rj:[img]http://h00rj.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/3b7c92a5-c24e-456e-bf65-3f7a5014f20e-1.jpg[/img]
YouTube – Gene Chandler Duke of Earl.
It’s a deal.
The first installment of “Shower thoughts.”
These are the things I think about while scrubbin’ mah testes.
#1 How to talk someone into having brain cancer.
I hope this works.
“So, how’s the tumor?”
“What tumor?”
“The cancer…?”
“Cancer?”
“Dude, your brain cancer…”
“I don’t have brain cancer. What are you talking about?”
“Holy crap, man. How can you forget about that? Did you make your chemo appointment?”
“What? I don’t have brain cancer.”
“Shit, man. Shit! You can’t forget that! We gotta call your doctor. Do you remember your doctor’s name?”
“Doctor? I don’t know… Dude, I don’t have brain cancer.”
“You were sposta get chemo last week to shrink it. Now it’s makin’ ya forget shit. Man, we gotta go now. How far is it to Mayo Clinic?”
“I don’t know man. Are you sure I have brain cancer? ARE YOU SURE?!”
“As sure as the cancer that’s destroyin’ your brain, now get in the car.”
Faster Image Insert aims to do one thing right:
Moves built-in Media Manager down in a meta-box, right next to main editing panel, so you have full control of the manager: opens it, makes it collapse or hidden from the interface completely.
Best of all, is now you can insert image(s) much faster, and precisely where you want them to be.
This plugin is designed for:
1 In the beginning He created the server and the domain.
2 And the server was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the server. And He moved upon the face of the server.
3 And He said, Let there be h00rj: and there was h00rj.
4 And He saw the h00rj, that it was good: and He divided the h00rj from the n00bs.
5 And He called the h00rj awesome, and the n00bs he called GAY. And the Mt. Dew and the pizza were the first day.
-dAve 1:1
comments (5)
h00rj: What is this I don't even
h00rj: cRAAAAAP
h00rj: wat NOOOO
h00rj: wuuuut CHANGED TEXT
h00rj: kittens?